Dating experts and operators of Internet dating services are praising the benefits of high technology in bringing people together. The Internet, they say, is a fecund place for relationships to bud and to grow.

But maybe not, if you happen to be confused about when to use a semicolon.

The fact is that technology has also taken its toll on the dating ritual. E- mail exchanges, now a staple of courtship, require the participants to be on top of their spelling, grammar and punctuation. Telephone technologies, like Caller ID, have sucked the spontaneity out of phone exchanges. And Web searches, which let people check one another's backgrounds, are turning potential mates into J. Edgar Hoovers with modems.

Even executives of Internet dating services say matters have become more complex. Online, first impressions may be based on subject-verb agreement, correct spelling and interesting content, said Trish McDermott, who works at Match.com, one such service. Her title is vice president for romance.

So before you anoint technology as the best thing to happen to dating since the invention of red wine, consider some possible pitfalls:

TO ERR BY E-MAIL You meet a prospect, exchange addresses, then sit down to write the initial overture. The idea here is to strike a balance between witty and thoughtful without being overbearing. The note needs to be only a few lines, but it may take 22 hours to compose.

The trouble is, unlike a fleeting telephone conversation, e-mail can be scrutinized repeatedly. It can be forwarded to friends, who dissect as if they were college freshmen studying "Moby Dick."

And, yes, you will be graded on punctuation. Should you use smiley faces and other gimmicks to punch up the text? What does it say about you if you are excessive in your use of the ellipsis? Should a man ever use the exclamation point?

As for spelling (presuming you don't have a spelling checker) one suggestion is to replace difficult words with simpler ones that convey roughly the same meaning. Rather than "Nice making your acquaintance," try "I enjoyed meeting you." Or, instead of "One of my favorite foods is the ratatouille at Chez Paul," write "I like tacos."

In general, it is not necessary to have a lawyer examine outgoing messages during the early stages of a relationship. But legal counsel may come in handy later, when you have escalated to double-entendre.

THE PHONE FIZZLE In the old days, the person seeking the date, henceforth known as the courter, would telephone the courtee. After the courtee answered, the courter might say witty and interesting things until the courtee agreed to get together for coffee and, eventually, marriage.

Enter Caller ID, which lets people see the originating number of a call. Because of it, the courter may never get anywhere, since the courtee may not answer a call from a number he or she doesn't recognize.

But even if the number is recognized, the call may still go unanswered. After all, the courtee may have reservations about the courter, who, for example, may be reputed to be a bad speller.

You might be thinking: "Hey, that's a good thing! She shouldn't waste time talking to someone from an unappealing number!" But think about the other side of the issue. If the courter has a chance to chat, a few precious moments to state his or her case, then the pair may find common ground. Maybe they both like tacos.

(One counter-strategy is for the courter to dial *67 before placing a call. This makes it impossible for the courtee to see the number the call is coming from. But that approach can backfire. The courtee may suspect that the blocked number belongs to a telemarketer looking to close a quick deal via the phone, which, come to think of it, is exactly what the courter is doing.)

WRONGED ON THE WEB So you were once fired from a job. You spied on your government for a foreign power. Or perhaps you played an instrument in the high school band. The point is, many people have made mistakes. Until now, however, not everyone could find out about it with a click of a mouse.

So what's the big deal? Shouldn't a person have a right to know if someone once took a bad photograph for the high school yearbook, or sold some collectibles on eBay ?

The answer, of course, is absolutely not. Let issues unfold in a relationship. Don't make assumptions based on what you may read on the Web. How many times have you been duped by a person who appeared nice, but then revealed himself or herself to be a convicted bank robber on parole, or someone who once had a problem with subject-verb agreement?