Why Women Shouldn't Look For Just Mr. Right? Our StreetDoctor "Theory Of Segmented Sexualization" Confirmed

Friday April 13, 2001 01:57 PM EDT

Why Women Shouldn't Look For Just Mr. Right? Our StreetDoctor "Theory Of Segmented Sexualization" Confirmed

By Barbara Quick, From MyPrimetime.com
See also: Theory of Segmented Sexualization

It's official: I'm giving up on finding Mr. Right.

I have an abundance — an embarrassment — of wonderful men in my life. But none of them has all five of the qualities my ideal partner should possess.

Four out of five is not bad, and makes for a good deal of fun, love and shared memories. But four out of five also means that there's something really important missing.

So, heaving a great sigh as I relinquish my romantic hopes and dreams, I'm setting my sights on a new goal. Forget about Mr. Right. I'm cutting a deal with the Right Brothers.

The theory goes like this: No one guy is going to have it all. (I've looked! I've tried!) But several men, working together as a tag-team, can give a woman everything she's ever wanted. Mold three fabulous but slightly incomplete men into one collective mate and you'll get at least a man and a half. What more could a woman ask for?

I can anticipate the scoffers out there who will say that no man would put up with such nonsense. A man, after all, wants a woman all to himself, right?

Wrong. Being part of a short list of men, rather than the one-and-only, relieves a bloke of the responsibility of trying to be everything and everyone to his lady love.

Some men do diapers, others change the oil cheerfully. Still another may have a black belt in romance. Some men make great money and get pleasure out of spending it on a woman. Others possess beautiful artistic souls. Another has the gift of making you laugh until you cry. One man has conversation to die for and has proven to be an ideal travel companion. Another is about as close as a person can get to being an angel without being dead.

Men are under tremendous pressure to exhibit as many as possible of these sometimes conflicting attributes. They hate feeling that they've let a woman down. No wonder they so often flee from commitment after a relationship reaches a certain point. They know they can't do anything but fail to live up to the woman's hopes of what they'll be for her. It's far better to run away than fall short.

The co-boyfriend approach, a beautiful division of labor, solves all that. One of the other guys can fill in on the stuff his compatriot likes least. If things are divided correctly, that's the very stuff he likes best. No one's complaining. Everybody's happy.

Of course, in these dangerous days, it's probably prudent to stipulate that only the guy at the top of the short list gets to sleep with the gal. But, as any Zen master can tell you, the journey is every bit as important as the destination. There is enjoyment to be found both in being at the top and striving to get there.

The short list lets men always be hunters rather than — perish the thought! — hunted. Handled properly, the situation has the potential to be a happy compromise for everyone involved.

At least, that's what I'm hoping.