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How to Understand the Man We Love May 28, 2002
Yes, Street Doctor,
We do love you guys, but to understand you?
Oh, how many centuries have we women been trying to accomplish this
task!
Well, I have been doing some research and
wish I knew this when I was sixteen. But you guys have not changed
since you were living in caves. Now I know!
Let's start by studying MAN AT WORK:
Your day is still one long struggle for
status. Today, you get the best looking girl, eat the best food,
wear great clothes, drive flashy cars, live in the best neighborhoods.
You are primarily defined by what you do for a living. Your work
is your proving ground.
Winning is crucial for men. When a man
loses, he feels beaten, whipped, emasculated, humiliated -- destined to
spend his life grooming the winners, eating leftovers, and never, ever
getting the girl.
Guys assert their dominance at work all the
time, often without even realizing it. They stand instead of sit,
they "bark" orders to coworkers, they "forget" to do something their
boss asks them to do, they undercut another's achievements.
The man's mannerisms are the same as they
were centuries ago. Ever seen a man at his desk, leaning back in
his chair, both feet up, both arms stretched behind the back of his
head? This is a classical example of dominant male behavior called
the chest thrust. His predecessors used to do that in an attempt
to appear larger. Or he is trying to subconsciously trying to sexually
stimulate females with the primal scents from his sweat glands!
Pheromones flowing -- look out! Guys are unconsciously puffing
themselves up at work all the time. Stretching, fluffing their
hair, spreading their arms wide to make a point. It's their way of
saying, "I'm the boss" or "I'm more important than you" or "You don't
scare me."
Their scoreboard at work is either Success
or Failure. No points for "I tried." This "scoreboard"
mentality dates back to their childhoods. Boys grow into men with
the sense that "big brother" is always watching. DAD. He's
watching, judging, scoring, measuring, making sure his son measures up.
However, "Dad" is replaced by the "Universe" as the man gets older,
still always watching and judging.
If you're a guy, work can feel like a daily
battle for survival. It's important to hide vulnerabilities and
never let anyone see you sweat. For the wolf to be banished from
the door, the walls must be thick, the larder filled, and the fire
stoked. To a modern man, the fittest doesn't necessarily have the
biggest biceps, but the biggest brain, the wiliest manner, the smoothest
patter, the largest office, the most powerful mentor, the most important
client, the most aggressive temperament.
Hmm, some of this behavior was on National
Geographic the other week...
to be continued.......
Lovingly, May 18, 2002 Dear Sophie, To be happy with a man, you must
understand him a lot and love him a little. Regards, The Street Doctor |
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