FAQ's (Q&A's about Lust, Love and Life)

Some frequently asked questions and my answers learned from some years on Singles Street USA ^TM, a dead-end street only if you go the wrong way.

Many singles living single life my way are enjoying the ride. Free insurance. Low maintenance. Some regular personal tune-ups. No serious crashes or injuries. A few easily repairable nicks and scrapes. No personal depreciation, just lots of appreciation and friends to share the good ride for a long time.

Single life can be achievable peaks, some not-so-dark valleys and a few sustainable deserts. It doesn't have to be pursuit of the tooth fairy, fighting windmills and relationship Nagasaki and Hiroshima!

I'll answer lots more, uncoupled and unconstrained.

The Street Doctor
May 21, 2000

1. Tell me about [f]
2. Tell me about [m]
3. Who's the good looking blond in the photos and what's her phone #?
4. Is [m] OK for me to date?
5. He keeps calling. Not interested. What should I say?
6. He still keeps calling. What next?
7. [removed]
8. How can I [f] end our relationship that's over?
9. What will happen if I [f] end our relationship?
10. How can I end it, not hurt him and still be friends?
11. Pls do not invite [name] to the parties?
12. Is [name] coming to the party?
13. What should I do if he's there?
14. What should I do if she's there?
15. What should I say to ANY man wanting my phone #?
16. How long will our relationship last?
17. What can I do to make our relationship last?
18. What's the best type of relationship?
19. What are the "Feathers"?
20. What's a Friend-Friend? What's a Feather Friend?
21. What's an Affair of the Mind?
22. What's an Affair of the Body?
23. What's wrong with having sex with a friend?
24. Can't my lover be my best friend?
25. What if a relationship seems to good be true?
26. What's the guaranteed worst way to start a relationship?
27. What's the guaranteed best way to end a relationship?
28. What most causes singles relationships to end?
29. How do I know if my relationship is going to last?
30. What's the definition of a miracle?
31. What's another definition of a miracle?
32. What's the best way to run off your relationship partner?
33. What's the best way to keep your relationship partner?
34. What's the definition of a "guilt trip"?
35. Why do the worst often appear the best?
36. What's the definition of "caveat emptor"?
37. What's the "Harris Teeter Bad Baggage Syndrome"?
38. What's "Clutter"?
39. When does Clutter occur most?
40. What follows Clutter?
41. Why do most relationships end?
42. Some advice for women?
43. Some advice for men?
44. Are men stronger than women?
45. What about "Older Women, Younger Men"?
46. What about "Older Men, Younger Women"?
47. What is the "Theory of Segmented Sexualization"?

q2: Tell me about [m]
a : I don't know. Top

q3: Who's the good looking blond in the photos and what's her phone #?
a : I don't know. Whoever she is, I'm sure she won't even give her # to me. Top

q4: Is [m] OK for me to date?
a : I'm a man. He's a man. The devil you know is better than the devil you don't. (See also q25 q35 q36). Top

q5: He keeps calling. Not interested. What should I say?
a : One answer that works. It's not a good time for me to be seeing anybody. May I call you if things change? Men have very fragile egos and fear rejection. Top

q6: He still keeps calling. What next?
a : Don't answer and don't return his calls. Top

q7: [removed]
a :  Top

q8: How can I [f] end our relationship that's over?
a : Can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear. "Cold turkey 2 by 4" has worked best for many. Is quickest, least painful for both in the long run. Top

q9: What will happen if I [f] end our relationship?
a : He'll use the "Back Door" if he wants back.

"Back Door" is man's way of trying to get it started again he thinks you can't figure out. Anything relationship unrelated. Anything you'll say "yes." A weather report. Say "yes" it's sunny day, say "no" it's still stormy.

e.g. "Can I come over and fix the toilet you asked me to fix a year ago? Can I bring my birthday present for your daughter? Can I come pickup a present I left under your bed I was going to surprise you with on your birthday?"

When the "Back Door" rings, you must answer NO, NO, NO. If you respect me you'll understand. Leave me alone. Do not hurt me anymore than I'm hurting myself. Let's not cause each other anymore pain. I'll try not to. Pls do the same. Goodbye. (No discussion, hang up)

In case you let him in the "Back Door", a "Roll in the Hay" only prolongs the inevitable and makes things worse. Top

q10: How can I end it, not hurt him and still be friends?
a ::: Impossible. Take your bad medicine early. Forget trying to be friends until it's absolutely over. Wounds must heal first. Friends possibly later but not now. Top

q11: Pls do not invite [name] to the party?
a ::: Sorry. That's not fair and against my policy. I wouldn't do it to you. (Interesting, persons asking almost always don't come anyhow. Better not to acquiesce.) Top

q12: Is [name] coming to the party?
a ::: I don't know. Ask them. Top

q13: What should I do if he's there?
a ::: Don't start anything. If he does, kill him with kindness, be peaches and cream, ignore and deflect the past, take the high road. Do not revisit scene of crime.

You're probably angry. Don't let him know it, otherwise you're admitting he's controlling you and you're out of control. Top

q14: What should I do if she's there?
a ::: Don't start anything. Don't do anything spiteful. She'll start it if she wants to talk to you. If she does, use answer above and it will be a win-win for both. Top

q15: What should I say to ANY man wanting my phone #?
Thank you, but I don't give out my #. Give me yours and maybe I can call you. Block your caller ID. Top

q16: How long will our relationship last?
a ::: The Coupled 3 Month Half-Life Theory says 50% of of all relationships end every 3 months. Very few last a year. Concerning lack of relationship longevity, "They all come back." Top

q17: What can I do to make our relationship last?
a ::: Friendship first. Stay out of the sack as long as you can. First time in, press the stopwatch. It's only a matter of time until the mainspring runs down and it's over. Men don't like hearing this. Top

q19: What are the "Feathers"?
a ::: The sack. Top

q20: What's a Friend-Friend? What's a Feather Friend?
a ::: Feather-Friend you go to sack with.
---- Friend-Friend, no sex, absolutely. Top

q21: What's an Affair of the Mind?
a ::: Friend-Friend Top

q22: What's an Affair of the Body?
a ::: Feather-Friend Top

q23: What's wrong with having sex with a friend?
a ::: You'll loose a friend, guaranteed. Top

q24: Can't my lover be my best friend?
a ::: No. You can't tell your lover everything. Top

q25: What if a relationship seems too good to be true?
a ::: It probably isn't. Top

q26: What's the guaranteed worst way to start a relationship?
a ::: Lust. It's a house of cards. Top

q27: What's the guaranteed best way to end a relationship?
a ::: Depends, but calling your partner the wrong name at a critical time in the sack generally works quite well! Top

q28: What most causes singles relationships to end?
a ::: Perception not equal to reality and unfulfilled imperceptable expections. Top

q29: How do I know if my relationship is going to last?
a ::: Assume it isn't and you'll be happier as it does. Top

q30: What's the definition of a miracle?
a ::: A relationship that lasts. Top

q31: What's another definition of a miracle?
a ::: A man, surviving what he has and hasn't done! Top

q32: What's the best way to run off your relationship partner?
a ::: Commands, demands and jealousy are often fast enders. Top

q33: What's the best way to keep your relationship partner?
a ::: One good way, "The tightest rein is the loosest grip".
---- Love is not possessive. ~ I Corinthians 13:4 Top

q34: What's the definition of a "guilt trip"?
a ::: One definition: what an unwilling rejected suitor often does to the rejecter; e.g. "You're cruel and unreasonable. Remember all I've done for you. I even went to your mother's birthday party, etc." Top

q35: Why do the worst often appear the best?
a ::: Remember, wolves in sheep's clothing? Top

q36: What's the definition of "caveat emptor"?
a ::: One definition, "beware of wolves in sheep's clothing".
---- Another definition, "forewarned is forearmed".
---- Another definition, "what you see is never what you get". Top

q37: What's the "Harris Teeter Bad Baggage Syndrome"?
a ::: It's payday. You get home with 7 bags of groceries only to find one's not yours. You can't take it back and you can't use it. Sort of like when relationship realty occurs and you see the light! Top

q38: What's "Clutter"?
a ::: Clutter is what occurs in a romantic relationship when emotions get in the way of clear thinking and good judgment. Top

q39: When does Clutter occur most?
a ::: When the spark is gone. Top

q40: What follows Clutter?
a ::: Clutter is almost always the beginning of the end, followed by Nagasaki and Hiroshima and then relationship ending. Top

q41: Why do most relationships end?
a ::: Reason #1: "It was going nowhere".
---: Reason #2: "We weren't on the same page".
---: Reason #3: "We just grew apart". Top

q42: Some advice for women?
a ::: Remember, men want what they can't get, and when they get it they don't want it! Top

q43: Some advice for men?
a ::: Remember, women know how to get what they want and keep it when they get it. Top

q44: Are men stronger than women?
a ::: Not necessarily. Women's intuition is almost always more powerful than men's thinking. Top

q45: What about "Older Women, Younger Men"?
a ::: Answer to women: Enjoy the ride. Won't last forever. Guaranteed!
---- Answer to men: Enjoy the ride. Won't last forever. Guaranteed! Top

q46: What about "Older Men, Younger Women"?
a ::: Answer to women: Enjoy the ride until the money stops!
---- Answer to men: Enjoy the ride until you stop the money! Top

q47: What is the "Theory of Segmented Sexualization"?
a ::: Best answered in Theory of Segmented Sexualization Top

The Street Doctor
May 21, 2000

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