"In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker." -Woody
Allen
"Ah, yes, divorce...from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's
genitals through his wallet." -Robin Williams
"A married man should forget his mistakes; no use two people remembering
the same thing." -Duane Dewel
"When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a
few steps ahead is the one that's mad." -Helen Rowland
"I have never really understood this liking for war. It panders to
instincts already well catered for in any respectable domestic
establishment." -Alan Bennett
"Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in
Europe."
-Jackie Mason
"Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of
pulling out an eel." -Leonardo da Vinci
"I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like
and give her a house." -Lewis Grizzard
"I'm one of the few men in the world with a marriage license made out to
whom it may concern." -The Street Doctor
"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her."
-Rodney Dangerfield.
"The difference between divorce and legal separation is that legal
separation gives a husband time to hide his money." -Johnny Carson
